When Women Ask for Help

Ask Sign

For this post during Women’s History Month I had planned a sweet little tribute to the incredible ways women serve one another. Instead, God saw fit to turn that on its head and remind me that many of us (read: me) really struggle with being served. Nothing like a little conviction to start off the week!

Fittingly, this reminder came in the form of a lesson impressed upon me by the littlest woman in my life. I had been thinking about one of the earliest snows of the season when she and my son were sledding in our back yard. At one point I noticed that my son was now “hauling” her back up the hill because she had gotten tired. And she hadn’t hesitated to ask for help.

Huh. What a novel thing for a woman to do.

As a young woman still fairly new to the world, she asked for help because she is still innocent. At just three years old she hasn’t absorbed any of the nonsense that the rest of us have about self-sufficiency. The lie that says unless there is an extreme crisis we are supposed to do it all on our own. The siren song of womanhood that causes so many of us to martyr ourselves on the altar of capability and attach our value to how well we can white-knuckle our way through life.

Let’s be honest. We all get tired. We get physically tired and emotionally tired.  We get mentally tired and financially tired.  We get work-weary, chore weary and child weary.  We walk up those same snowy hills over and over again and oh how we would be blessed to simply let someone grab the sled and walk us to the top. And yet, so many times, we would rather just get more tired than ask for help.

Well, that is me this week. I had wanted to share this lesson with you without having to share in it myself but God wasn’t having that prideful nonsense. Like all of the other sweet women in my life, there are times when we can get everything done and there are times when we can’t. And then, often after tears, and guilt, and frustration that we can’t worship the idol of self-sufficiency one more time we finally call her.

Her. Whoever she is. Because she loves you.

Your Mother. Your friend. Your coworker. Your boss. Your neighbor. Your Aunt. Your mentor. Your sister. Your whomever from the village. And you finally ask her for help because that is part of the design.

Ladies, we must remember that our need to be served is a gift to someone else even if it is uncomfortable for us. If Jesus said we are supposed to serve one another then sometimes, my self-sufficient sister, that “other” has to be you too.

And so today if you are tired, tell her. If you need her, tell her. Humble yourself and let her do her job in Christ so that ultimately you can do yours better.

I’ll lead. I’m going to call her now.

5 thoughts on “When Women Ask for Help”

  1. Yes! I am so guilty of this! I have to really hit rock bottom before I ask for help, and when I do, I feel guilt and shame over having sunk so low as to need help. On the other hand, I love to help and serve others. I have so much more compassion for others who need help than I do for myself.


  2. This is so absolutely true for me and most other women I know. We definitely need to be more willing to ask for help. We as women are ready to help as soon as we are asked, but we don’t want to butt in. Thanks so much for posting this!


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