When my daughter was eight, she gave me one of those small metallic-looking balloons on a stick. It read, “Best Mom Ever,” and she put it on my nightstand.
Do you know where that balloon was a year later? Still on my nightstand, full and shiny as ever, because those balloons apparently never, ever die.
The day I finally freed the balloon to its final resting place, I had a thought. “I hope she doesn’t always think I’m ‘the best Mom ever.’ I guess I’m going to have to tell her that.”
You Get What You Get
Of course, we all get what we get when it comes to Moms. And, a lot of folks have Mom pain, Mom conflict, and/or estranged relationships with their Mamas. Yes, that Mom-child relationship can be difficult, complicated, and painful.
But what if you hit the Mom jackpot? Like, you ended up with an incredible Mom who fits you like a glove, loves you, cherishes you, and still supports you to this day?
This, dear readers, is the kind of Mom I got. She is exceptional. Which is why I know exactly what I need to tell my own daughter someday.
You see, when you get a great Mom like mine, you don’t think about what you want to do differently with your own children. Instead, because you saw someone do it so well, you think doing it like she did is the way to go. And (despite her never suggesting that her way was the “right” way) once I became a Mom, I really did try to do it like she did…for a while. But what I ended up finding out was that I couldn’t do it “just like her.”
Turns out, that’s because I’m me.
My kids are different from the ones she had. My husband is different than the one she parented with. The time, place, and culture where we live are different than when she raised kids. Yes, I realize now how silly it was for me to think that doing it just like she did was even an option. There are too many variables.
And, there are so many good and different ways to be a great Mom.
That is what I need my daughter, all daughters, to know.
An Important PSA for the Daughters of Mothers They Admire
My precious daughter, there is no such thing as “the best Mom ever.” There is, simply, the one that you got. I tried my best with the time, talents, and gifts God gave me to love you well. But one of the biggest gifts I can ever give you is to know you don’t have to be like me. Instead, you have the freedom to be you. As a woman, as a wife, and, of course, as a Mom.
And I will be right here cheering you on. Just like my own Mom did for me.
Check out more of Anne’s mental health and faith content on her blog, in her Bible studies, and through speaking engagements!
Photo by Eldar Nazarov on Unsplash, used with permission
Anne Rulo 