I’m envisioning the regular readers of this blog seeing this title and thinking, “Huh?” Doesn’t this lady normally talk about faith? Yep. And, mental health. And, you know what kids in faith-filled households do sometimes? They experiment with drugs and alcohol (and sex, but we’ll wrangle that another time 😉).
The other day a friend mentioned wanting to talk with her kids about alcohol but had no experience herself. While of course, plenty of people of faith have experience with alcohol, many others don’t. Regardless, we all need the skills and knowledge to talk with our kids. So, I tapped into all those years as a college counselor where I had a LOT of conversations about this very thing.
Part of the secret to talking with young people about substance use (and other sensitive issues) is to have facts on hand rather than just “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.” While you may have a moral or Biblical standard you desire, kids are often better equipped to make wise, healthy decisions when we also “layer” in information about how their bodies work and/or how substance use can impact them. This is especially true during the adolescent years when increasing independence from parents is a core developmental task.
Consider the three areas below:
- Moral: Good/bad, do/don’t. This is the standard you choose for your home. Regarding alcohol specifically, you may encourage none, in moderation, only when you’re 21, etc. Regardless of what you teach your kids, it’s often not as effective if this is your only talking point. They will be better equipped if they also have other “layers” of information.
- Legal: Some kids are going to be motivated to live by the standards of their parents, faith, etc. And, some aren’t. Or, they experiment for a bit during “risk-taking” years. Offering facts and having non-fear-based conversations can help them make wise choices when they aren’t in your care. Ex. “Hey, just a heads up, did you know if you drive your underage buddies around and they are drinking, even if you’re not, you can be charged with an open container violation and/or a MIP?”
- Medical/Biological: This information can be gold, especially because not even many adults fully understand this piece. Knowing how substances impact the human body can help kids make independent, healthy, harm-reduction-based choices. And, they can be an informed leader for their peers. Below is some essential medical/biological information you can share with your kids.
With any substance, every “body“ has a certain tipping point for addiction. For harder drugs, it tends to be faster and sooner. Things like meth and heroin can create addiction after minimal use. For other substances, it tends to happen over longer-term use. Additionally, genetics is a factor here. If you have other alcoholics/addiction in your family, it is likely to happen for you and yours sooner.
For alcohol specifically, everyone’s liver operates the same way. With rare exception, humans can only digest/break down one “standard drink” per hour. But, what many kids don’t realize is that a standard drink is a different size for different types of alcohol. In general, a 1.5oz shot is a standard drink, 4-5 ounces of wine is a standard drink, a beer is a standard drink. It all has to do with the alcohol content. So, if you kick back four shots you will still have alcohol in your system until four hours later.
Additionally, binge drinking (which is highest among young adults and increases the risk of addiction) is considered four to five standard drinks within two hours. The more people drink the more they will feel differently based on their tolerance, body weight, if they’ve eaten, etc. This is the point a lot of kids (and adults) don’t understand. Just because they might feel “OK” doesn’t mean the alcohol is completely out of their system. This is the kind of thing that gets people pulled over and they blow over the legal limit even though they don’t feel intoxicated. It is safer (and easier) just to do the math rather than hope or “feel like” your BAC (blood alcohol content) is below the legal limit.
Of course, there is no way to keep our kids completely safe, but if they understand how alcohol processes in the body, the benefits of limiting it, knowing “tricks” like making sure to drink water in between alcoholic drinks, etc. can help them make safer choices if they drink. Or, if they don’t, be able to say to their buddy, “Hey, you had five beers two hours ago. The math says you aren’t clear to drive.”
Finally, on a positive note, the rate of risky and binge-drinking behavior is actually declining among several generations, including our current young people. To read more about how it is becoming more acceptable than ever to avoid risky drinking, link here.
Addiction and substance misuse is a tough journey in many families. Like anything else that’s difficult to talk about, having conversations about alcohol use doesn’t make kids drink. But, not talking about it may leave them ill-equipped to know how to handle the pressures they will face at some point. Just like sexuality, social media use, and other “growing up” issues, substance use is something that is an ongoing, developmentally appropriate area to continue discussing.
Blessings on your conversations with your precious kiddos.
Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash, used with permission
Anne Rulo 